Mr. Goose #3

I haven't done a Mr. Goose in like a week or two, so I might as well.

Episode 3: They Can Take, Take, Take the Kids from the Summer but They'll Never, Never, Never Take the Summer from the Goose!

Mr. Goose was getting bored of all the cold weather of Winter. What's the use of Winter? All his friends get killed for Winter meals and what-not. Also, all his favorite ponds were frozen over so he could never hang out on them. Another negative would be all the kids were too cold to come out and play, so he could never get a bit of a snack. Also, he had to move away from his home cuz it was too cold. All in all, Winter was an epic fail.
Mr. Goose then decided to make an anti-Winter machine. He put in all sorts of things: old pieces of grass, newspaper lying around, a fallen tree branch, a dried leaf, anything. Eventually, he got some sort of system of knobs and turns and stuff to work. He turned it all around and then the machine, for being a thing made out of nothing, sputtered. IT ACTUALLY SPUTTERED! Mr. Goose honked in delight, until, you know, it caught on fire. As strange as it may seem, he was a pyro.
"Honkkkkk," he whispered, which roughly translated to "Fireeeeee." He waddled over to it, then put his tail feather near it. It exploded into wicked bright orange flames. "HONK!" he screamed, not realizing the pain. He flew threw the air, and it burned out. He would never touch fire again, no matter how pretty.

It's Hard to Argue When You Won't Stop Making Sense

Hey. Listening to Snow Patrol (hence the title) right now. I'm a little bored, a little tired, and a little hungry. But that's life. And sometimes life can be an epic fail.
I get to go my g-parents this weekend (doesn't it seem like I'm ALWAYS there? Ha ha.) yippee.
I get to see 3 of my cousins, my aunt, and uncle. We're delivering Girl Scout Cookies! Yummy.
So, might as well give a little bit of advice to the people, in the form of a Mr. Goose Episode.

#2: Love on the Lake (NOT!)

Mr. Goose landed on a pole after his epic scary sadistic child attack. He panted then saw a lovely little swan on the lake below.
"Why, hello there," he thought. He swooped down and honked and quacked until he tried to get her attention. Attempt one= fail.
He tried again. Attempt two= fail.
And again. Attempt three= EPIC fail.
Finally, she DID turn around. And she wasn't a swan.
She was a piece of cardboard.
"BY GOD, WE GOT ONE!" someone shouted. Huh, Mr. Goose thought. Then the net hit.
"HONK HONK QUACKY HONKY QUACK HONK!" he screamed at the top of his goose lungs. It was no use. They didn't care. Then he heard whispers.
"It's a GOOSE. From CANADA." one whispered.
The other whispered "Canada? SERIOUSLY?"
The first whispered "And goose-like. Pitieous."
The second whispered "Well, we CAN just eat him..." and while they were talking, Mr. Goose bit his way through the net.
"HONK QUACK!" he yelled, roughly translating to "See ya suckers!"
Then he flew away.

Well, it's been a while since I saw you.. (Mr. Goose #1!).

Hey! It, indeed, has been a while. I know I have to do the Mr. Goose Episode #1 but I'll do that in a second! First things first: listen to Jack's Mannequin. NOW. Okay, now we can start!

Episode 1: I only wanted a bit of food...

Mr. Goose really only wanted some food. Not a lot, just a small treat, or something to satisfy the mood. Then he saw them: the fingers.
Little children's fingers. The owners were no more than age four and well, Mr. Goose was so lovable, that he decided to see the children and maybe get a small snack.
"Quack quack quack!" he honked. The children gasped and stared.
"DUCKY!!" they screeched. Mr. Goose was used to be called a duck, even though he was a Canadian goose, so he didn't really mind much. He honked once more and the kids giggled. Then they attacked.
Their playful shrieks were like the devil himself cackling. It was HORRIBLE. They tugged on his feathers and everything. Who knew little kids were so ABUSIVE. Then he saw the hand and remembered his goal. He honked once more, and then attacked.
Now an adult jumped him. Is this my day or what, he thought sarcastically.
"NOT MY KIDS TODAY YOU GIANT FEATHERY BEAST! HE-YAH!" they said thrashing and bashing. Mr. Goose honked and tried to wriggle out of their grip but it was no use. The kids shrieked in joy that their parent was killing the poor goose. How sadistic. Mr. Goose finally was let go and flew away to a new location.
And all that for just a nibble of finger.